The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My first STD was from a foam party
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize