the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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