If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
