He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
