TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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