I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
