The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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