Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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