I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
