maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
