You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
