Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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