Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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