He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
