The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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