just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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