That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
