he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
