Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
