i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There r osticjed everywhere
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
