Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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