So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
