Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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