I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
