Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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