just tell him i said nine months
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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