He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
