I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
