it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
