literally had 100 drinks last night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
