I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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