he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
