thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
