1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
