oh god the rape fog is back!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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