His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
