i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
