Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
