a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
