Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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