Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
