How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
