Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize