How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
