the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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