Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
