Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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