i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
