He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
