There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
