Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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