yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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