My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
