I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
